Interview with Sarah Shirley

I interviewed my younger sister Sarah Shirley, high school senior from Clinton, MS. Sarah has participated in several events for young members of the Episcopal Church in the last six years, including theatre, charity drives, and weekend retreats. One retreat in particular, called “Happening,” in which both youth and clergy present a series of personal experiences in order to offer Christ’s message of love and acceptance, has designated Sarah to be October’s leading rector. The theme of this interview is how Sarah will encompass a major leadership role in her Christian community, despite being an atheist.

As she and I were scheduled to visit and travel for her birthday weekend, Sarah and I congregated at my home in Oxford for the interview late Sunday evening.

My favorite quote from the interview would have to be Sarah’s explanation of how her lessons over the course of October’s Happening weekend would differ from previous rectors: “I kind of want to put the emphasis more on other parts that are more universal, not strictly Christian, like taking good out into the world, reconciliation, loving yourself. Those were the parts that were really important to me.”

Q. How do you feel leading a Christian youth event without sharing Christian beliefs?

A. Despite most of the people coming in being open-minded, generally, I am still worried that not as many people would come if they knew their rector is an atheist. So, I try to skirt around the actual issue of Christianity, while I’m doing Christian activities. We go into small groups and we discuss prayer and the afterlife—things that are really hard to skirt around—and I get vague with my answers: “I believe that as long as you’re a good person, I don’t see why you wouldn’t go to Heaven.” Things like that. It’s a little awkward at times, but I don’t feel it’s a bad thing by any means. And I know that if they did know that they would still accept me. I still want them to be as comfortable as possible with the experience.

Q. How have others reacted?

A. I’ve never gotten any negativity about it. There was [Happening Coordinator] Mr. Woodcock, I told him I was an atheist and was he sure he wanted me to lead it? He said: “Well, Happening is one part Christianity, but the other two parts are love and acceptance, and I think you have those in aces. You’ll be a great rector.” Everyone just understands that everyone has a journey.

Q. What does being part of a young Christian organization mean to you?

A. I think if I hadn’t been a part of this, I would have been a bitter person towards the aspect of Christianity and organized religion. All those people there are so sweet and loving. I can see, through what I’m doing, that it helps a lot of people. For those who choose to see it in this way, it is very much a comforting thing and not fearful, like a lot of Christians use it as: a guilty, shaming scenario. It makes me like organized religion a lot more, not for me personally, but as an existing force.

Q. How will you teach Happening?

A. The last Happening, I felt there was quite a large emphasis on prayer. That was a really big part, and it’s different every time. I kind of want to put the emphasis more on other parts that are more universal, not strictly Christian, like taking good out into the world, reconciliation, loving yourself. Those were the parts that were really important to me. I know prayer does a lot of good for a lot of people, and that’s great. But I feel like it would feel a little more inclusive—because everyone prays differently, and I feel for those who may be struggling with Christianity, or haven’t told anyone that they’re not Christian, that they’re there for their friends—I feel like it would be more comfortable if less of the emphasis was on something as strictly Christian as “prayer.” So, that’s what I’m planning on doing.

Q. Does Christianity still affect you? How?

A. That’s a tricky question. It’s hard for me to believe that any kind of being, God or not, it’s hard for me to believe that someone existed before existence existed. Taking parts of the Bible metaphorically and symbolically, I can get behind all of it. Being a Christian, when I was a Christian, it taught me a lot about humility and selflessness and just doing what is right, even when it’s hard to do, and strength of character. All of that is very, very important to me. And I remember, when I used to pray, feeling, um… at least for a little bit, not feeling so alone. And then I could, later, when I didn’t see it so much as praying as meditation and self-reflection, it made me feel less alone, but in a different way. Instead of reaching out to someone I couldn’t see, I was reaching out to myself, and that was a very comforting feeling. So… I do have very strong ties to Christianity, because I think it gave me a lot of stepping stones to being the person I am today. And I find the spirituality of it makes me a more rounded person.

Q. How do you feel that you will contribute to this Happening?

A. I’ve gone to three Happenings. So, I don’t know a ton of past rectors, but I think mine will have a big emphasis shift. When people leave, they’ll leave reflecting not so much on Jesus, not so much on God or themselves, but more on the community of love and friendship that they’ve built. Really, I think that’s key, that if they come—even if we have less emphasis on prayer, if that’s what they need to hear, what they want to hear—that’s what will stick. I think everyone will walk out with exactly what they needed.